Inappropriate Utensils

As these things go, my baby is pretty easy. She has known the difference between night and day from the outset, only getting up to eat a few times in the night, and she’s generally pretty chill during the day—as long as she’s being held and as long as I’m not trying to eat—which, for some mysterious reason, she cannot abide by. (Doesn’t she know that her food source requires food to work properly?)

All that said, she is still a newborn, and as such is exhausting.

And sometimes that exhaustion leads her parents to behave like children. Take, for instance, the following exchange her father and I had this morning:

Me [still waking up and holding the baby in one arm while stirring oatmeal flakes and water in a pan, as I have become expert at doing one-handed in the past eight weeks of my child’s life]: ---.

Dr. Husband: I’ll take the baby.

Me: That’s okay.

Dr. Husband: I’ll take her. That’s dangerous.

Me: We’re fine.

Dr. Husband: Give her to me. That’s not safe.

Me: ! [Followed by storming out of the kitchen.]

Dr. Husband: Oh, give me a break.

Me: !

Dr. Husband [calling after me as I head upstairs, oatmeal-less]: You obviously need to eat! Do you want a spoon or a fork?

Me: --- .

*

Like I said, I was behaving like a total child. But, more importantly, who eats oatmeal with a fork?